Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
