what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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