There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize