I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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