at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
