dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize