dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
