official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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