I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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