Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
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I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
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That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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