Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
