After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
