Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
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