he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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