if i can run in heels then i can drive
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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