i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
