I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize