NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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