sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
