Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize