I heard we made out
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
