I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
