One girl and one boy is just not enough.
no, he came in my armpit
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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