he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
