Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
