Barsexuality is the new black.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
