She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
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can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you had me at cake vodka
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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