Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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