Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize