? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
