He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?