I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
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all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole