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• (904): View more from Florida

  What are you doing tonight?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.

  Fav 15 1045 4403

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.

  Fav 10 4302 905

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?

  Fav 21 835 3884

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.

  Fav 24 1418 4731

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.

  Fav 9 8703 1422

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream

  Fav 28 2961 7412

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• (408): View more from California

  Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.

  Fav 8 1170 2495

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead

  Fav 18 5723 1553

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.

  Fav 16 1464 716

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.

  Fav 5 1530 578

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• (914): View more from New York

  Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?

  Fav 1 529 525

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• (925): View more from California

  dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.

  Fav 1 58 26

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence

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