please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot