Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...