He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
