doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
