i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
