we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Someone came in the potted fern
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize