Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
