matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
