After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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