I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
