im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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