she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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