I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
