We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
