mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
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just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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