I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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