So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
