Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talked him into tasing himself.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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