No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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