please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
