Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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