You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
