Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
