There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize