It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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