hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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