mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
