I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
