Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
operation harelip BJ is a go
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
