You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize